Monday morning tutorial #2: pick your clothes carefully…

The best way to spend Monday is in bed – obviously. However, the need to eat and pay rent is pressing for most of us. Some of us are lucky enough to be able to work from home – often I can – but most people have to drag themselves out of bed, stumble into shower, get dressed, drink coffee and then do the most depressing commute of the week…

Bleurgh. Brain function is on a go slow, body is rebelling against the increase in urgency, hair will not be tamed, face is crumpled and surly… in my case, anyway. I need solutions. A lot of whining and being annoying doesn’t count, sadly. Making life easy is, as you know, my priority.

So I recommend streamlining choices. I already have a uniform I wear most days but Monday requires comfort and style. If you can cheer yourself up in the process, that’s a bonus.

Trousers work for me. Chances are I haven’t bothered shaving my legs since the end of the previous week. It’s not a priority unless I’ve been out on Friday or Saturday night. The chances of that occurring are slim, to be frank. Then knitwear – soft and comforting knitwear in any form. I have chosen a sweater here but a posh t-shirt would work in the summer. Just make sure that you have a reasonably capable bra. Knits love nothing more than accentuating boob spillage. I don’t do excessively groomed and I can’t afford a bra that accommodates 4 breasts.

The trousers I choose tend to be wide legged. They’re just easier for me. You might fancy something sexier and skinnier – don’t worry, there’s a look for that too – but I want to feel like a moody Parisienne on Monday mornings. Hence the ballet flats – in a bright colour. This is my concession to cheery. After 15 coffees there’s an outside chance that I will look down at them and go ‘oh look, little orange feet’ and feel a bit more like life is worth living.

After that it’s practical all the way. Trench coat and massive handbag are all I need. Trenchcoats are underrated. They have huge pockets you can fit almost all your belongings in. Keys, phone, headphones, bank card, little bit of cash…gloves in winter. A well made bag can hold a laptop, notepad, diary, pencils, wallet – everything else.

When I had kids I refused to buy a nappy bag. I’m not 4 so the patterned ones didn’t appeal and I’m not smart enough to understand that purposefully ugly style thing – so the luxe military chic versions didn’t inspire. I just bought a big cross body bag. If you pack neatly, you have enough room for a change of clothes, two or three nappies, wipes, a slim changing mat, a drink, a snack and all your gubbins. Not your work gubbins but your going to play group.or to a play date gubbins. Try Just Fab if you’re on a budget. They’re great – and do lots of sizes and colours.

Now I mentioned slimmer trousers…well, here is my usual day to day uniform smartened up for an office. One that doesn’t object to coated leggings and boots – there are a few but they’re rare, I realise. I have also  added a day to night option. Don’t ask me why but I seem to get asked to a ridiculous amount of Monday evening things. Usually by creative people who don’t seem to own calendars. I mean, really, who wants to put on heels like that on a Monday? It’s the one day when a statement necklace is going to feel like chains…and still the invites keep pinging up in my inbox. This is not a humble brag – I like work dos, generally. Just why do it to anyone on a Monday?

This is what I live to wear on a Monday. Pyjamas, basically. I want to get home and feel like the world loves me. These clothes really do. So does pizza. And red wine.

But you something? None of those options would feel or taste as good without Monday beforehand.

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