Thanks to the 45th President of the United States being such a busy man, he’s got an awful lot done in the space of a week.
Now we hear a lot about the things that affect those of us with a more liberal agenda. For a long time, in fact, it has seemed like his supporters have been almost brain washed into the cult of Trump. The complaints against his racism, jingoism, homophobia, transphobia, religious discrimination, sexism and…well, the list is endless…just seem to gird their terrifying loins.
So, for the benefit of those Trump voters out there, I will not present a list of the shit they don’t care about. Here’s the alternative list – the list of stuff that that will bother the Trumpettes…
All business development is good for a healthy economic climate. If you want to dance the greenback boogie you need everybody making money.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Minority Business Development Agency.
Every year the EDA supports individuals and companies in business. It creates jobs and it helps all businesses – from sole traders to corporations through family set ups. The central tenet of Republican policy on economic growth is the encouragement of entrepreneurship.
If you voted for Trump because you think he believes in that then, quite frankly, you were conned.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Economic Development Administration.
While Trump says that he wants to give American people American products, lots of American people and companies export. The money from exported goods goes back into the American economy…do I have to join the dots? Listen, if these companies have no support they stop flourishing economically. When that happens jobs go. It’s that simple.
And don’t think that those people will be wealthy, well educated liberals…they’re agricultural workers and factory workers and dock workers and truck drivers and lots of other ‘real’ people. Many of whom decidedly fall into his voter demographic.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the International Trade Administration.
Manufacturing is one of things mentioned in Trump’s inauguration address. People who think their blue collar jobs are safe or coming back need to start thinking about going back to high school. Or community college. Or whatever education scheme they can afford when there is no funding for anything where free thought or intellectual rigour might be encouraged.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Manufacturing Extension Partnership.
You love law enforcement? You certainly like your #alllivesmatter stuff. Well, that step further -#bluelivesmatter – is a lot easier to believe in when you don’t try to put officers in harm’s way by hampering their relationships with their precincts.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services.
The LSC helps people in a low income bracket. All people. Even angry white men. Think on that when you consider committing a hate crime.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Legal Services Corporation.
The people of Flint are still without clean water. If you think a travesty like that should go unpunished, have at it. Just remember that there but for the grace of god…
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Environmental and Natural Resources Division of the DOJ.
I’ll quote their website directly…’it helps US businesses gain footholds in emerging markets, catalyzing revenues, jobs and growth opportunities both at home and abroad’. Jobs…at home.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.
Power cuts? You like power cuts?
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Electricity Deliverability and Energy Reliability.
Like oil and gas? Your kids might too. Oh well.
On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Fossil Energy.
Who you gonna call? Nobody. Good job you still got your guns, huh?
On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered all regulatory powers of all federal agencies frozen.
The First Amendment. The First Amendment – that you all hold dear. It applies to everyone. If you felt disenfranchised before the arrival of Commandant Trump, don’t silence everyone else.
On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered the National Parks Service to stop using social media after RTing factual, side by side photos of the crowds for the 2009 and 2017 inaugurations.
The First Amendment. The First Amendment – that you all hold so dear etc etc…you get the picture.
On January 20th, 2017, roughly 230 protestors were arrested in DC and face unprecedented felony riot charges. Among them were legal observers, journalists, and medics.
The First Amendment. The First Amendment…you know the rest.
On January 20th, 2017, a member of the International Workers of the World was shot in the stomach at an anti-fascist protest in Seattle. He remains in critical condition.
Oh come on…
On January 21st, 2017, DT brought a group of 40 cheerleaders to a meeting with the CIA to cheer for him during a speech that consisted almost entirely of framing himself as the victim of dishonest press.
Usually I could muster some smartarsery but I am losing the will to live and my fingers hurt from angry typing.
On January 21st, 2017, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer held a press conference largely to attack the press for accurately reporting the size of attendance at the inaugural festivities, saying that the inauguration had the largest audience of any in history, “period”.
ALTERNATIVE FACTS ARE USUALLY CALLED ‘LIES’!
On January 22nd, 2017, White House advisor Kellyann Conway defended Spicer’s lies as “alternative facts” on national television news.
Just…weird. And a little bit ‘bromantic’ – I hope that annoys all you homophones.
Did I mention that I kind of know one of the guys who plays Trump in porn? He’s a second generation Mexican immigrant. I do hope you aren’t wanking over that, alt-righters. Actually the pervert in me absolutely loves the idea so keep on feeding some of my less healthy fantasies.
On January 22nd, 2017, DT appeared to blow a kiss to director James Comey during a meeting with the FBI, and then opened his arms in a gesture of strange, paternal affection, before hugging him with a pat on the back.
Nobody likes a war against people who might actually win. Even I don’t play Trivial Pursuits without revising the little cards first. That would be insanity.
On January 23rd, 2017, Spicer said that the US will not tolerate China’s expansion onto islands in the South China Sea, essentially threatening war with China.
On January 23rd, 2017, DT repeated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing him the popular vote.
Even he thought he was guilty. Who cares about that, though?
On January 23rd, 2017, it was announced that the man who shot the anti-fascist protester in Seattle was released without charges, despite turning himself in.
On January 24th, 2017, Spicer reiterated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing DT the popular vote.
On January 24th, 2017, DT tweeted a picture from his personal Twitter account of a photo he says depicts the crowd at his inauguration and will hang in the White House press room. The photo is curiously dated January 21st, 2017, the day AFTER the inauguration and the day of the Women’s March, the largest inauguration related protest in history.
Freedom of speech…blah, blah…
On January 24th, 2017, the EPA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to freeze all grants and contracts.
And freedom of speech. Again.
On January 24th, 2017, the USDA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to stop publishing any papers or research. All communication with the press would also have to be authorized and vetted by the White House.
Well, that’s it from me. My fingers hurt now. I’m going to buy bossy lady – no, I didn’t mean boss lady – boots online now.
As a side note, please don’t comment on my sexual fantasies or in depth knowledge of Trump porn. I’m already going to have to listen to my family over it.