I thought I would share a post from this time two years ago with you on Throwback Thursday. It was, itself, a throwback to my distant past…
This is me 4 years ago when I wrote a blog called Vogue Busy Beauty and did a daily piece entitled ‘What Am I Wearing?’ – or WAIW.
Times – and priorities – were different then. What really struck me when I read this is that I wore almost the same outfit yesterday.
Yesterday was a roller coaster for me. I shared a lot more than normal. I hope it was encouraging, rather than embarrassing – but I’m quite reserved normally so I was on the cusp of being proud of it and wanting to vomit at the thought of overshare.
Anyway, WAIW was a lot less intimate. Actually, it was unashamedly shallow.
Nowadays, I often find myself wondering if I can justify spending money on apparel. I have to look after kids – they’re fairly unforgiving on ‘good’ clothes and I hate waste.
Having said that, I love fashion – I used to cover it a lot more than I do now – and my mood really responds to and corresponds with what I’m wearing
It makes me feel confident. Or homely. Or glamorous. Or sexy – whatever I like. That’s its advantage to me. What I’m wearing not only reflects me but also nurtures me.
I know that there are plenty of my fellow feminists who are a little bit disapproving of my obsession. I would argue that fashion is a tool for me – as well as being a hobby and a pleasure.
I used to feel guilty about it but I don’t anymore. I like it and it’s part of me. I don’t want to ignore any part of me now – I did that after my first daughter and it made me miserable.
I’m not a hausfrau and that’s that. I’m multifaceted and I want to dress like all the bits of me at one time or another.
Now that I’ve decided to forgive myself for an interest that I’d started to perceive as a weakness, I have regained confidence, energy and strength.
I was kind to myself and I let myself be me. It’s time we all do that – leave behind the stupid voice that criticises us. What strikes me as ridiculous is that the voice is ours – and it’s that of a remorseless, mean spirited bitch. It’s the inner mean girl.
Well, we’re all far too old to ‘go back to high school’ (look at me – shoehorning a Grease reference into this piece) or to pay it any mind at all.
So let’s kick that bitch to the kerb. She’s not us at all. We’re better than that. It’s nice to be nice – let’s start closest to home. With ourselves.
And I’m indulging myself later with some pictures of clothing that sums up my style. Warning: there will be a lot of trenchcoats.
Oh, and I’ll give a prize to anyone who can tell me what ‘to Melanie’ means. It’s probably a bit 80s for some of you but it’s a favourite with anyone who uses public transport.
Without further ado, here’s the teeny tiny insight from 7 years – and an entire world – ago.
“Morning WAIWers! Another great day to be alive – & wearing my summr staple: the sailor trouser (reasons in a later post) but really this is a shout-out to my darling Fletch for buying me pink KG-esque ballet flats. I may not even Melanie them in favour of 40s style wedges. & I love those wedges….”.
Wow. I was a really different person back then. Here, for those of you who are interested, is the outfit in question.
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re a bad feminist because you like nice clothes ! The two things are not mutually exclusive !
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I know that now – but it took a while for me to learn to combine all the different parts of my personality without feeling guilty about one or other. Now that seems silly. Back then I was just having a hard time finding my footing.
Balance is everything.
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Yes sorry , didn’t mean to sound patronising . Women are just always being told they’re doing things wrong .
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Not at all! I really struggled with reconciling all the facets of my personality. I changed after kids and I became much more aware of everything but me. I kind of forgot about me. Then I realised that you can’t survive like that either…
I should write about it more.
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You should – I’d love to read it !
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Okay then. I promise!
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Nothing wrong with liking clothes, I know what you mean about them reflecting your mood. I always feel more confident at work if I am dressed nicely and I have not just chucked on jeans and converse. xx
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I have a friend who is a stylist. She despairs of me making no effort so she started putting together my outfits for the week for me in June.
It’s amazing. Sometimes I even accessorise!
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